How To Be Happier

Am I really the happiest man on the planet? Then how can I tell you how to be happier?:)

But there's this one interesting thing I have noticed. And whenever I have done this one thing, I have been happier.

This thing is - to stop thinking about what I should do and start thinking about what I really want.
Not very clear is it? I'll tell you some tit bits from my life - when I replaced "should" with "want" and became happier.

How to be Happier - The First Event

Long ago in January, 2007, I was majoring in Paper technology and career was the first thing on my mind. "What should I do after I finish college?" was the big question. "Should I " do an MS in chemical engineering? "Should I" go for a job?

My mental state: muddled and unhappy.

In June 2007, a thought crossed my mind - "What if I stop asking what I should be doing and ask myself what I really, truly want to do? What if it was NOT compulsory that I "should do" an MS or an MBA?

Suddenly I felt light! I still remember that moment - when I allowed myself to think about what I really wanted and instantly felt happier!

I had this vision about writing and blogging and anchoring quizzes and debates a few times a month. I felt amazing!

As soon as I allowed myself to think of what I wanted to do - I felt good!

Thankfully, today I am much happier writing on this website than I was when I thought I "should do" an MS in chemical engineering.

How to be Happier - The Second Event

Another peculiar event happened recently.

Now I was writing on this website, but somehow I was still feeling bad somewhere. I mean, I should have felt nice writing right - doing what I wanted - then why that sinking feeling?

So I looked at my home page. And I saw ornamental words like "This site will allow you to conquer anger and face your fears." I looked at some other pages - they were like - "This is how you should act, this is how you should think" Huh? All this was crap I thought I "should write" on my site - not what I really wanted to.. What I really wanted to do was to genuinely share whatever I learnt as I lived my life - along with my faults and failings. Something to the tune of - "Hey, I learnt this today, isn't that cool? You could try it too!"

So I revamped each page on this site and removed what I thought I "should write." Then I wrote exactly what I wanted to. In one moment, I felt so much more happy! I was suddenly doing something I loved so much more!

Now the interesting thing is: in both the cases above when I felt happier - I stopped doing what I thought "I should do" and asked myself - "what do I really want"?

What About You?

Let's take a peek at your life. Is there something you are doing that you "should do"? Are you working at your job - because you "should be"? Are you in your relationship because you "should be"?

NOW - ask yourself - what do you really, truly want? Suppose you were permitted to do anything you wanted? Suppose you could leave this job and NOT do what others were doing? What would you want?

Ask yourself this.

No, don't quit your job or relationship or revamp your life after reading this. (As if you will!:) ) But will you make me a promise? Today, tomorrow and the day after - whenever you notice the thought - "I should be doing this" - will you replace it with - "what do I want?" Like if you are going to college - will you ask yourself - "Why am I going? Is it because I should go? What do I want to do?"

Here's my guarantee: As soon as you replace "I should" by "what do I want?" - you'll be happier.

Now we know how to be happier! May we rock the world replacing "should" by "want". Tata!

Meghashyam Chirravoori is basically someone like you but with an unreasonable passion for exploring living more. He's written more about his tryst with happiness (+ unhappiness!) and ways to be happy here. He writes regularly about other things he learns at http://www.personal-development-is-fun.com. Copyright - Do republish this article wherever you want, but please publish everything as it is, including this author description and the active links.

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